Like a Surgeon - Weird Al Yankovic

I finally made it through med school
Somehow I made it through
I'm just an intern
I still make a mistake or two

I was last in my class
Barely passed at the institute
Now I'm trying to avoid, yeah I'm trying to avoid
A malpractice suit

Hey, like a surgeon
Cuttin' for the very first time
Like a surgeon
Organ transplants are my line

Better give me all your gauze nurse
This patient's fading fast
Complications have set in
Don't know how long he'll last

Let me see, that I.V.
Here we go - time to operate
I'll pull his insides out, pull his insides out
And see what he ate

Like a surgeon, hey
Cuttin' for the very first time
Like a surgeon
Here's a waiver for you to sign

Woe, woe, woe
Woe, woe, woe
Woe, woe, woe

It's a fact - I'm a quack
The disgrace of the A.M.A.
'Cause my patients die, yah my patients die
Before they can pay

Like a surgeon, hey
Cuttin' for the very first time
Like a surgeon
Got your kidneys on my mind

Like a surgeon, ooh-hoo like a surgeon
When I reach inside
With my scalpel, and my forceps, and retractors
Oh ho, oh ho

Ooh baby, yeah
I can hear your heartbeat
For the very last time